Bringing out the best in ourselves and the children we care for
Happy Kids Happy You
From early childhood, I always sought to understand how things work… in order to use my time and energy to make them work better!
This has led me to:
- Study Physics and Physiotherapy
- Pursue successful careers in IT in the commercial world and then as a physiotherapist in the NHS
- Backpack across the Swiss Alps, amongst many other mountaineering adventures…
Despite all the life skills I had gained and the success I had achieved prior to having children, and despite attending all the antenatal and parenting classes on offer and reading all the books I could lay my hands on – I like to be prepared! – becoming a parent was a huge shock … And parenting continues to be the most challenging thing I’ve ever done!
Whilst on the outside, I was doing an OK job, on the inside I was really struggling. I got various ideas from various books on WHAT to do in particular situations, but nothing was helping ME: to feel more confident, more in control… at least in control of myself! Despite really wanting to do a good job, I seemed to be saying “No!” all the time, shouting and “losing it”, focusing on the negatives and feeling guilty…
In 2002, between having my two children, I studied NLP and became a certified NLP Practitioner. My knowledge and training in NLP had an immediate and major impact on my life for the better. It continues to shape the way I go about things, particularly how I think about and communicate with my children. I now have more choices about how I respond to situations that challenge me. I can communicate more usefully and respectfully to get the results I want more of the time. I can enforce boundaries more respectfully and kindly. We have more fun more of the time.
Because these NLP-based methods have made such a difference for me, I have created and deliver Happy Kids Happy You! workshops and coaching. I want to help you achieve the benefits of:
Neuro - understanding how we receive and process information from the “outside world”Linguistic - understanding how our words and body language impact on others so that
Programming - we can act in useful and respectful ways with our children and families to achieve the results we want.
No situation has one solution, no “right answer”. You are the expert on your family and your children:
Happy Kids Happy You! will give you ways of thinking about things so that you can find the solution that works for you, for now. I am committed to help you achieve more of what you want in your family life on a day to day basis.
Little things can make a big difference. Here are just a couple of examples of how my NLP approach enabled me to keep the situation on an even keel and achieve the result I wanted, when it could so easily have gone the other way:
At a friend’s birthday party, my three year old was sat with the other children enjoying the party food, which included little tubs of ketchup. The boy next to her flicked ketchup onto her cheek and she immediately complained “Mummy, he flicked me!” My immediate thought was to tell the boy, John, “Don’t flick the ketchup” but my NLP knowledge told me that the effect of these words would more than likely encourage him to flick more ketchup, which could have then led to more kids flicking ketchup… and so on! So I pointed to my daughter’s cheek and exclaimed: “Look! A ketchup kiss! John’s given you a ketchup kiss!” This got their attention so I then asked my daughter: “Would you like to give John a kiss?” They looked at each other and laughed and, in this moment, I redirected them both back to dipping their food into the ketchup and eating it properly. Happy atmosphere, friends eating together: this was the result I wanted.
After my second child was born, my first child would do various things to gain my attention, including sitting on the stairs in front of me, when we were going up to the bathroom to get washed and ready for bed. I would be carrying the baby so it obviously annoyed me because I couldn’t clearly see what I was stepping on. This gave her the attention she wanted, even though it was my annoyance, and tended to set the tone for a difficult time in the bathroom. One day, she did this and I was just about to say the usual “We don’t play on the stairs… Walk up the stairs properly!” when I realized this wasn’t getting the result I wanted – a co-operative and happy time getting ready for bed. So I just sat down beside her on the stair. I didn’t say anything and waited. After a few moments, she looked at me and smiled. I smiled back… then she just got up and walked up the stairs! RESULT!