The pressure’s on! Summer’s a distant memory and we’re up against the clock, getting ourselves and our children out of the door in the morning…

However good your mental tick lists are and however well the morning is going, do you find that, as bodies and stuff gather at the door, the tension rises? And just when you think you’ve cracked it, on the brink of departure, there’s this flashpoint on the doormat…

all your best intentions vanish, cooperation goes out the window and at least one of you loses it!

In our house, it’s usually our 3 year old who loses it first, with me a close second! I’m left feeling frustrated, exasperated and guilty.

One major cause of frustration is that we expect too much. With children, when our expectations are unreasonably high, we’re just setting ourselves and them up for a fall: for disappointment and frustration.

When I thought about it, I was very surprised at how unreasonable my expectations were:

• I was expecting it to be easy and smooth! I’d never found it particularly easy or smooth to get just myself ready before we had children, so why should it suddenly become that way WITH children?! Also, with children, actually getting out of the door is an additional challenge!
• As my school age child was gradually doing more to get ready, I was expecting similar independence from my 3 year old, forgetting she’s ONLY 3!
• I’d been getting them ready first, leaving myself and my needs until last...

So if any of this rings true for you, here are five more useful, realistic expectations for getting out of the door – kinder on the children and definitely kinder on us:

Arrivals and departures are noisy! So expect a high energy, noisy, bumpy, bustling challenge!

Take care of yourself first. You then feel cared for and feel more like caring for others. Once you get the children moving, you can keep them moving. You won’t cause false starts by realising, last minute, you do actually need something to eat…

Expect to exercise all your patience, calm and resourcefulness, especially with pre-schoolers. They are so focused on what they are doing in the moment that they resist any change in pace or location.

It all goes more easily if they actually want to go! Talk about what they’ll enjoy on the way or when they get there.

And don’t expect it to get easier! Our children’s needs, their abilities and sense of responsibility are constantly changing so no two days will ever be the same…

Give yourself a pat on the back and take a moment to acknowledge a job well done when you’ve made it out without shouting at anyone!

Maybe, once in a blue moon, it will be easy and go smoothly… and it will be a real bonus! With these expectations, rather than being frustrated by what our children AREN’T doing, we can be more tuned in to the useful, cooperative things they ARE doing, however small, in their own ways, at their own pace!

Want to explore some more? Why not come along to a workshop? For more infomation on workshops please click here.